One of my closest friends, of 27 years, died on Monday. He had not been feeling well the last few days. He did everything right, he took off from work, he went to the hospital, they ran all the tests & couldn’t find anything wrong. He took a nap on Monday afternoon & didn’t wake up. I am devastated. I can’t stop thinking of his mom, who had to have the cops come open the door to his apartment when he wasn’t answering his phone. Or my other best friend who had to tell me, who was his best friend as well. The three of us were together everyday, for so many years. As a single child, they took the permanent place of being my brothers. We haven’t talked in a while & I don’t have the words to express how bad this makes me feel now.
I’ve been dealing w/ some serious health issues myself lately. Lots of days where it’s hard to take care of the dogs. I don’t know what’s wrong. It’s been a lonely road w/ no friends or family to call on, locally. My stress levels have been at an all time high w/ four large rent increases in the last few months. I cannot afford my home that I’ve had for the last 7 years, but I also cannot afford to move. It’s a weird situation to be in. I would love to take the next few days to grieve, reflect, spend some time outside taking photos w/ the dogs. This isn’t possible, though. I’ve got four days to make October’s rent. It’s been my slowest sales month this year & although I was able to make my bills (thank goodness), I’ve got nothing to put towards rent and I. Am. Terrified.
“Ok, Sol. What promotions can you come up with this week? You better get some paintings done! Mat & frame the few pieces you haven’t put in the store yet. Promote, promote, promote, but try not to annoy everyone too much. Don’t forget about the commissions you need to finish!” These thoughts are on loop in my head, but in tandem w/ how I can’t stop thinking about my friend. Needless to say, I can’t seem to find focus.
I haven’t updated this blog in a very long time. I’m not happy that it’s getting updated w/ what I’m writing now. However, I would like to update this more often, but hopefully w/ happier news, new work I’m excited about, some future trip that I’ll get to take w/ the dogs.
I’ve been graced w/ some really, really wonderful customers this year. There’s not an hour that goes by where I don’t spend a moment feeling thankful for their support (& their patience). If you are one of them, and if you’re here, you probably are – THANK YOU. Feels small written here, but trust me, I am thanking you w/ every ounce of my body & soul.
I’m not sure what else to promote to try to help w/ gathering rent right now. I am really excited about the new bison linocut prints I’ve made. I think they are beautiful & I will be happy to send those out to anyone who helps me w/ rent. I’m also really excited about the new prints sets I’ve made from recent paintings. I have very badly been wanting to make another very large painting (around the 3’x4′ range). I have only made two in the last three years. Please, if this is something you’d be interested in trusting me w/, please, reach out. I have a few ideas, but I have had a particular horse running around my brain for many months now, that’s eager to be let out. If you’re walls are full right now or you can’t seem to find a piece you want at the moment, I can also make custom gift certificates. Although I honestly don’t have the time, I will be taking on the Inktober challenge again this year, so there will be lots of new work coming everyday, for the next month. I recognize that although it’s a massive undertaking, right now, I need something to look forward to everyday. My mind has taken me to some dark places lately & this is just something I need & have been looking forward to all year.
Thank you for reading this & giving me your precious time today. Because your time, all our time, *is very precious*. My life is very, very quiet & I don’t talk w/ many people, so this is my attempt at talking “out loud” w/ my supporters, who I would consider as friends. Hug your pets for me. Have a meal w/ a friend for me (something I haven’t done for over a year & miss so much). Tell the people you love that you love them. If you are also going through a rough time, or feel alone, please don’t hesitate to reach out to me, if you feel comfortable doing so.